Young mothers unite!
Now I feel like I have to preface this article by stating that I don’t necessarily consider myself a super young mum. I had my first son at 23 and am currently pregnant with my second who will be born when I am 25. I didn’t think this was anything particularly remarkable, but some peoples reactions have made me start thinking otherwise. I’d also like to take this moment to commend all of the mothers that are even younger in dealing with this as well.
In our current age of social media and sharing every single aspect of our lives online there is so much judgement that we have to deal with on a daily basis. This should just make it easier for all of us mothers to stick together but unfortunately, that isn’t always the case.
There is one phrase I hear most often once other mothers find out my age and I’m sure all of the other young mums out there can probably guess what it is…”Wow, was that planned?!”. Now I know most of the time they don’t mean anything sinister and they’re just shocked because they chose a different life path, which is great, the world would be ridiculously boring if we were all the same. But at the same time, when this comes from another mother that should know the struggles of having every parenting choice being judged it can still be hurtful. I’m sure other parents who are constantly met with this incredulous question understand the feelings and questions it invokes: “Is it that obvious I don’t know what I’m doing” and “Do they think I shouldn’t have had kids so young? Am I doing that bad of a job?”. Well, my answer to you is NO! Their comment is not about you in the slightest! I know how hard it is to remember this but it’s just a reflection of the changes in society, with women having the ability to focus more on the careers and other aspects of their life without having the pressure to settle down and start a family so early.
So I went into that in a little more depth than I had intended but I wanted to make sure that anyone else feeling this way knows that they are not alone!
Despite this judgement, there are so many reasons why I’m glad that I had my son when I did and why it was the right choice for me:
- I have higher energy levels – My son is an absolute little pocket rocket and doesn’t stop running around from the moment he gets up. I’m still at the stage in my life where I can chase him around, climb on the playground with him and throw him up in the air without an issue.
- My pregnancy was uncomplicated – So this one is a bit tricky. I know that age is not the only factor to determine how straightforward a pregnancy will be but for me, everything went very smoothly and I had no health issues whatsoever. Unfortunately, increased age can increase the risk for particular conditions.
- Young Grandparents – I got super lucky here. My parents absolutely love babies and children and are always more than happy to babysit. They’re in very good condition physically and are still able to get on the floor and play games and crawl after my son, and he has a beautiful relationship with them.
- No pressure to hurry for more kids – So even though I’m already expecting our second son, my partner and I know that unless there is an unexpected issue we still have plenty of time to give these two little boys more siblings and don’t have to base that decision solely on my biological clock.
- Easier postpartum recovery – So again this is one that will vary from person to person but I found the recovery after labour fairly straightforward. As an added bonus I also was able to gain my pre-pregnancy figure back within around 9 months without any excessive changes to my exercise routine or diet. While I definitely don’t suggest basing any family planning on this last factor, it’s definitely a nice little bonus.
So there you have it! I hope this helps remind all of the other young mum’s out there of some of the benefits of their decision, even when the judgement is getting you down. I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job and your baby or babies wouldn’t change you for the world!